How to Juggle Flaming Chainsaws

It’s been just over four and a half months since my son took his first breath. The learning curve in those first few months has been brutal. Each time I start to feel like I’ve got this thing handled, I find another hitch in my giddy up.

It seems the quickest way to stabilize the chaotic day to day is through routine. It’s a dirty word, I know. Routines are vicious taskmasters that strip the pleasure from most situations. In the past if anyone were to approach me about bringing structure to my life, I’d probably cry out, singing praises for the spontaneous. I’d sit back and make some clever remark about appreciating the regularity of a bowel movement, but to hell with the rest.

The truth is my propensity towards a spontaneous life, probably has more to do with laziness than a fervent belief in the unplanned. It’s difficult to admit, but being accountable is hard work. I’ve sloppily juggled responsibilities like work, family, health, and my bills. This is a reasonable feat for the novice juggler and I’ve been pretty successful. Now I’m supposed to hurl sixteen flaming chainsaws into the air like some crazy sideshow carnie. It’s a good bet I’m going to lose an arm and suffer several third degree burns if I can’t pull things together.

While I’m sure there is research that confirms the value of stability to the happiness of a child, at this point I’m mostly concerned about getting to work with my pants on and making sure the electric bill gets paid. So, with a white flag in my hand, I surrender to the weight of chaos. No longer will I live oblivious to the clock and immune to plans. I will rely on routine to organize the important so I can consider the rest, choosing wisely instead of purely by whim. It’s the only way I can survive… because my beautiful assistant is at the edge of the stage firing up the seventeenth chainsaw as we speak.

Robert Grunberg pictured above. See www.westland.net/VENICE/performers.htm to learn more.